Miranda

Christina Ricci, in the early 2000’s, was transitioning from child actress into Indy darling, appearing in such low-budget affairs as No Vacancy, All Over the Guy, and Prozac Nation. These films failed to spark much at the box office but did aid in transitioning the once gothic child star into films with a bit more mature roles for her to run with. Many of these films were not particularly good but she was always interesting to watch in them. In the middle of this transition is a little known British film that premiered at Sundance then quietly disappeared, barely getting a release of any kind. That film, Miranda, basically went straight to home video where it mostly went forgotten. Even fans of Christina stayed away from it. Poor word of mouth didn’t help it find an audience, either. For that reason, and none other, Miranda was of special interest to me when I sat down to watch it, having never heard of this one before.

Miranda (Christina Ricci) walks into a library soon to be demolished and immediately catches the attention of librarian Frank (John Simm).  Sitting at his desk he watches her as she comes and goes, intrigued by this woman’s every action. He eventually asks her out to dinner but she tries to keep her distance, only to finally give in to his advances. They become lovers, only for her to suddenly disappear on him one day.  Meanwhile, the library was illegally sold to a group of Japanese investors who are ruined when they find out the sellers were not the owners and the library is torn down in front of them, their entire investment stolen.

Miranda, as it turns out, is a con-artist working for Christian (John Hurt). Their scheme is to find buildings getting ready to be destroyed and convince people that they own them and are willing to sell. By the time the building is torn down, the two have vanished with the money, leaving the buyers defrauded of a large amount of cash. Frank, unable to move on from Miranda, finds a business card in one of her old dresses and uses it to track her down. This leads him to cross paths with Nailor (Kyle MacLachlan), Miranda’s next mark whom she is selling an abandoned warehouse. This puts Miranda in a bit of a spot as Frank’s appearance may upend the whole scheme leaving her and Christian exposed to the crazy Nailor.

Billed as a romance/thriller, Miranda is lacking in both of those elements. It is much too laid back to be a legitimate thriller and the romance side of things is just too cold. We get why Frank is infatuated by her; she is alluring and attractive. What we don’t get is why she eventually gives in to him when she has so much to lose by getting involved with anyone. Plus, a romance would put strain on her working relationship with Christian who is obviously in love with her, too. To make matters worse, Christina Ricci fails to sell her characters emotions, not in the beginning nor at the end of the film when it should be even more prominent. Her character is played so coldly that it cannot generate any of the heat needed to make anyone care for her.

Ricci plays the title character stone faced, barely emoting at all. That puts her in stark contrast to everyone else in the film. John Simm spends a good deal of the film looking like a lost puppy, lusting after her and running around outside in a literal spotlight, excited just to have a date. John Hurt is his usual amazing self acting circles around everyone and showing that a bad movie doesn’t mean he should give a bad performance in it. Bizarrely, Kyle MacLachlan is in a completely different film from everyone else. He’s acting out sexual fantasies with dolls, drooling over and pawing at Miranda like an escaped lunatic. His performance is so over the top that it loses all menace and is just laughable. It’s absurd and disturbing all rolled up into one and at no point is he convincing as a millionaire property investor. 

With all the ridiculousness in the characters, the central concept is made even more unrealistic. This movie expects audiences to ignore some very obvious plot holes and get behind a relationship that makes about as much sense as the cons being committed. This is such a half-baked script, executed poorly, that nothing quite gels in it. By the time everything turns south and Nailor has captured Miranda it has devolved into total nonsense. The ending, complete with Nailor cutting buttons off of Miranda’s blouse and eating them like almonds, just puts the lid on how bad this thing can get. Kyle is mugging for all he’s worth but it’s so bad it details the whole film.

I’ll give Miranda one thing: I didn’t anticipate where it was heading at first. It takes some turns that truly surprised me. But that’s not a good thing here. Miranda caught me off guard and totally lost me about halfway through. Up until then it was just dull and uninteresting. Once Nailor entered the picture it went totally off the rails and became borderline unbearable. This is a film that is nearly unwatchable. The romance is poorly portrayed and the thriller aspect is devoid of any thrills whatsoever. Kyle’s performance is odd to say the least and without a menacing villain to anchor the film all you have left is the unexciting love story. The only one worth watching here is John Hurt and he’s not in it enough to make it worth the effort.

Release Date: January 18, 2002

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rated R

Starring: Christina Ricci, John Simm, John Hurt and Kyle MacLachlan

Directed By: Marc Munden