The story kicks off with military defense contractor GloboTech Industries acquiring The Heartland Toy Company. CEO Gil Mars (Denis Leary) fires most of the staff with the exceptions of toy designers Larry Benson (Jay Mohr) and Irwin Wayfair (David Cross) who stay on to design a new set of war toys that can actually do what the commercials show them doing, literally burst out of their packaging and interact realistically with each other and with the kids playing with them. Gil gives carte blanche to the two to utilize GloboTech technology to make it happen. With this, Larry orders an experimental AI chip designed for military applications to be placed in his soldier figures. Irwin’s creations, the peaceful Gorgonites, are also given the chips and assigned as the mortal enemies of the soldiers. With that in place, the toys are built and shipped out to stores.
Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith) works at his father’s local toy store where his dad has one rule, they don’t sell war toys. While his father (Kevin Dunn) is out of town, Alan convinces the delivery driver providing stock for the store to allow him to take a complete set of the new Heartland Toy soldiers and Gorgonites to sell in the hopes of finally turning a profit for once. Almost immediately the toys escape their packaging. The peaceful Gorgonites, do what they do best, hide out, while the soldiers, lead by Major Chip Hazard (voiced by Tommy Lee Jones) utilize the tools around the store to create makeshift weapons of destruction. Mayhem and destruction ensues. Christy (Kristen Dunst), Alan’s neighbor and crush, gets taken hostage by the soldiers, as well as an army of Gwendy dolls (voiced by Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci) who were brought to life Frankenstein style. The action and the insanity ratchets up to a grand finale involving hundreds of toys laying siege on both families, Alan’s and Christy’s, intent to kill them whether they give up the Gorgonites or not.
To say this film is nuts would be to put it mildly. This kind of madcap destruction was Joe Dante’s bread and butter in the late 80’s and early 90’s. It’s one of the primary reasons the two Gremlins films are still popular over thirty years later. Small Soldiers doesn’t have the same level of popularity, though. Perhaps this is a case of too many trips to the well. Perhaps it’s as simple as Gremlins being easier to suspend disbelief. The creatures in Gremlins are not real and therefore can explain away things that don’t quite follow rules of logic. Gremlins 2 took the piss out of the more ridiculous concepts, making it an intentional parody of itself in an attempt to derail any possibility for more sequels. These rules, though, grounded those films somewhat. In Small Soldiers all we get is that some made-up computer chip has enough computing power to not only control these toys but to also allow them to be hyper intelligent and even transfer their capabilities into other toys. This last ability, as fun as it is to watch and pick up on the references to classic horror, stretches reality just a little too far.
This is a well acted film, especially by the large ensemble cast of voice actors playing the toys. On the soldier’s side we not only have Tommy Lee Jones but we also have George Kennedy, Ernest Borgnine, Clint Walker, Bruce Dern and former pro football player Jim Brown. Playing the Gorgonites we get a who’s who of comedic actors: Spinal Tap’s Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer along with Jim Cummings and lead by the great Frank Langella. This is a loaded cast across the board but it never feels like a collection of names for names sake. Of the voice actors only Tommy Lee Jones comes across as just doing his heavily recognizable voice and even that works in this case. Tommy Lee Jones has an affectation to his voice that, when pitched up energetically, screams out as unhinged yet in control. It’s the perfect level of military authority and emotional instability needed for a role as crazy as this.
Where this film falters, though, is in its dated effects. A full fledged CGI animated film can hide the digital shortcomings behind an overall visual style. When blended with live action those shortcomings stand out, though, and that is the case here. A combination of live action puppetry and CGI animation was used to create the soldiers and the Gorgonites and it’s always obvious which one is on screen at any given time. The technology was not quite ready back in the late 90’s and it stands out. This is especially evident when the Gwendy dolls are attacking Christy and Alan. There is no real weight to them and they come off as poorly rendered animation. This is redeemed somewhat by the hilarious one liners spouted by Christina Ricci and Sarah Michelle Geller, thrown out in rapid pace. They’re so funny it becomes easier to dismiss the poor animation.
This is not a kid friendly film. While there’s nothing overtly offensive in it, it does have plenty of violence for a PG-13 film. Not only do toys get mangled, chewed up, blown up and electrocuted, the humans get messed up, too. Alan, at one point, gets shot multiple times with corn cob skewers in his legs. He’ll also get sliced by steak knives and shot at with flaming tennis balls. Others will get superficial, but bloody, injuries at the hands of the soldiers and there is plenty of fire and explosions, too. This is no Toy Story, even if its roots come from there.
This was Phil Hartman’s final live action role. The SNL alumni was murdered by his second wife just two months before the premiere of Small Soldiers and the film is dedicated to him. This tragedy would have been fresh on the minds of audience members going into the film and may have contributed to its poor performance at the box office. That, coupled with the violent nature of the film in general, kept parents from taking their kids to see it. This very concept would be too scary for younger kids who might end up with nightmares of their own toys turning murderous. Fast food tie-ins had to be modified or completely replaced when parents complained about the PG-13 rated film targeting small children.
Ultimately this was a movie that confused audiences and execs back in the 90’s. We had not as yet had films like South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut or Team America: World Policethat looked like children’s entertainment but were definitely made for adults. Sure there were X-rated animation and the likes of Heavy Metal but these were not mainstream releases meant to bring in top dollar at theaters. Small Soldiers fizzled at the box office, found an audience on home video, then kind of disappeared, remembered primarily for its connection to the Phil Hartman tragedy. It deserves a better reputation than it has and should be remembered for more than it is. There’s a lot of fun to be had watching it and it’s still fairly easy to find. It had a lot working against it back in 1998 but it’s still worth seeking it out more than twenty-five years later.
Release Date: July 10, 1998
Running Time: 108 Minutes
Rated PG-13
Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Gregory Smith, Jay Mohr, Phil Hartman, Kevin Dunn, Denis Leary, Frank Langella and Tommy Lee Jones
Directed By: Joe Dante
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